For Fun and Profit

I have a new short story written, and I posted it up on my Deviant-Art account, of which I am extremely ashamed. Go quick and read it before I remember I hate every single word of everything I ever write and delete it in a cavaclade of sudden remorse for ever baring my soul to the ravages of the internet.

http://pudding-4-evar.deviantart.com/art/Piracy-for-Fun-and-Profit-104428494

The Adventures of Barack Obama

The following is based on a true story.

The story starts as most things do

With Barack Obama

He was at home watching his

Most favourite TV drama

He was getting settled

In the White House den,

When the front window shattered

And through dived Joe Biden

 

‘What are you doing’ cried Barack

‘You’re interrupting Law and Order!

‘If you don’t have a good reason

Your face I will reorder.’

‘Sorry sir’ said the VP

‘I really have to beg your pardon,

‘John McCain has a giant robot,

‘And he’s tearing up the garden.’

 

Outside Barack and Biden rushed

To dish out some pain

Through Presidential magnolias,

Stomped Metal John McCain!

‘Stop that, you.’ Obama yelled

With fury shook his fist,

He was just so angry

He nearly hurt his wrist.

‘My friends,’ said old McCain

Waving from his seat

‘I am here to destroy you

And make your garden much less neat.’

‘Nefarious!’ cried Biden

Jumping up and down

Obama stood there silent

With nothing but a frown.

 

‘As you can see’ laughed John McCain

‘I have a giant ‘bot.

‘Against its fearsome metal might

‘You Democrats can do squat.

‘Now you are defeated,

‘And have no choice but to flee

‘Maybe now you both have learned

‘Don’t mess with the GOP.’

 

‘I do not think that this is how

The democratic process works.

 ‘McCain, I must conclude

You are a great big jerk’

McCain turned red and raised his boot

To squash the President

‘Maybe so!’ he furiously cried

‘But you can go get bent!’

‘No!’ cried Biden, and quickly pushed

Obama with a leap

But then the boot hit him instead

And he began to weep

‘Look what you’ve done now.’ said Obama

‘You made poor Biden cry

‘I’ll tell on you, if you don’t leave.

And you will get no pie.’

At Obama’s stern reproach

McCain had to back down

‘No pie?’ he said, eyes widening

‘But that would make me frown!’

‘I love my pie, Obama.’

He growled angrily.

‘But I’ll be back soon enough

‘You can’t keep the White House from me!’

 

McCain stomped off back to Alaska

Where with Palin he would vent

Obama helped Biden up

And back to the couch they went

‘Barack’ said Biden admiringly

‘You sure did show that louse.’

‘I sure did.’ grinned Obama

‘Now shut up, I’m watching House.’

A Reasonable Gap

As you might have noticed, my updating schedule is now something on the order of once a year, and yet I continue to keep this link everywhere I go, the latest place it has been linked to being on someone else's blog. Since perhaps 0.5 more people might well be duped into coming here by this development, I may as well update, despite how appalled I am looking back at how horribly and consistently unfunny I was. Am.

So I'm sort of at a loss of what to actually write about. I'm writing this immediately before unpacking my replacement XBOX 360, acquired after the old one blew up and I argued at them until they gave me a new one for free. Writing about this seems distressingly close to actually talking about my real life in a blog on the internet, something I have sworn to never do. You will never see my everyday life, love and trials on this site, mostly because it isn't entertaining and the name of the blog is not 'Pudding Boredom'. So let's think of something else entirely.

Remember how I posted about having a webcomic, or as I prefer because it's more uselessly pretentious, 'online graphic novel' and that it was going to be online 'soon' in 2006? Well prepare to be relatively amazed by it in or slightly before 2009! Judging by my update schedule, I consider 2009 'soon' and was therefore not lying.

I have it on good authority that the comic is going to be 'drawn' on 'paper' by an 'artist', specifically the beautiful and talented Ma... Bren. Bren is a friend. A Bren has not taken over a brain of a writer for NEFARIOUS PURPOSES. This is not a good thought to have. Dismiss it.

A Bren is draw a comic. A Bren comic will be about adventures of sexy and attractive SPACE COMMANDER BREN and his extremely phallic escapades with a ladies.

A ladies is seduced by a Bren. Then a Bren does a love snake into her and an egg is fertilized and in several months BREN LARVA bursts from a ladies.

accept a bren into you

it is for happiness

i feel the larvae

wiggling

;)

~pdudnig