I hate you, Mara. I don't DO this kind of thing, and yet you force me. So, I'm answering these questions based on my wild and unsubstantiated assumptions about you. Also, as I copy pasted it, I noticed it is missing numbers. So, gentle readers, I am not an idiot, she is.
Can you answer 84 questions about just one person?
1) What’s their name?
Mara Soriano
2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Both.
3) Do you get along with this person all the time?
Practically never.
4) How old is the person?
16.
5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?
No, I don't imagine she'd taste very good cooked.
6) Is this person older than you?
No, I am older by about forty years. Er, one year. Yeah.
7) Have you ever kissed this person?
I don't put my mouth on things if I don't know where they've been.
9) Are you related to this person?
Not as far as I know.
10) Are you really close to him/her?
All the time. Allllways watching.
11) Nickname?
'Sandy Bendover'
12.) Do they have a nickname for you?
They'd damned well better not.
13) How many times do you talk to this person during a week?
Every day she's online, briefly, to which the answer is always 'no but I'll finish it later'.
14) Will this person repost this?
oh god time paradox
15) Do you live with this person?
No, we'd kill each other in fifteen seconds.
16) Why is this person your number 1?
Personal gain.
17) Do they have a nickname for you?
Didn't I just answer this one?
18) How long have you known this person?
I have no idea.
19) Have you ever been to the mall with this person?
Why the hell would I want to go to the mall with her? That ends in buying things.
20) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person?
One time, but she didn't know and I was gone before she woke up.
21) If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
Ah, the wonders of our glorious internet age.
23) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person ?
I'm pretty sure it isn't illegal in Canada. I hope.
24) Do you know everything about this person?
evvvverything
25) Would you date this person’s siblings?
yes if i were so inclined i would indeed measure the radioactive decay of their carbon 14 molecules
26) Have you ever made out with this person?
I was drunk at the time and I thought it was her, dammit.
29) Have you gone skinny dipping with this person?
Our annual naked fistfight on a tightrope over the Pacific Ocean kind of counts, considering how it always ends.
31) Is this person on drugs?
The tranquilizer darts don't count.
33) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes?
Not that she knows of.
34) Does this person wear your clothes?
Not that I know of.
35) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person?
hee hee i'd have boobies
36) Have you ever heard this person sing?
Yes, actually, she sent me a recording. I'm still working over the lingering mental trauma in therapy.
38) Do you and this person have a saying/word?
'FUCK THA POLICE'
39) Do you know this persons Facebook password?
I stay far, far away from Facebook at all times.
39) Do you know this persons Facebook password?
I just answered this damn you.
44.) Have you and this person gone clubbing?
All night long. Those baby seals didn't see it coming.
45) Do you know how to make this person feel happy / laugh?
Its name rhymes with Hitachi Magic Pond and it's not Ian Fleming/Hitachi/Harry Potter product placement.
46) Do you and this person talk alot?
she just keeps talking and talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one has a chance to interrupt
it is really quite hypnotic
47) Do you like this person?
I hate her with the fury of the Thousand Suns of Harneth-Kadnar. <3
48) Has this person yelled at you?
All I have to do is argue with her over inconsequential things that she likes. It's easy AND rewarding!
49) Have you and this person got into a fist fight?
Once we did to see who would win. I threw her through an eighth floor window after she rammed a screwdriver through my arm.
50) Do you want to go out with this person?
That depends on where and whether or not she was paying.
60) Do you and this person have a special song?
I don't know about her, but mine is The Sailor Song.
61) Have you told this person you loved them before?
Once, while bleeding out in the rain in the aftermath of our climatic gunfight.
62) Did they say it back?
Actually, she shot me again. It hurt.
63) Do you think this person still loves you?
Did you miss the part where she shot me? Like, five times?
64) What grade is this person in?
F
65) Do you hang out with this person on weekends?
No, I spend my evenings in higher-class company.
66) Would you consider this person your best friend?
I'm serious. Five times. While I was on the ground. It wasn't even remotely fair.
67) Do you miss this person?
Well, that's kind of how I ended up getting shot, because if I'd hit her there wouldn't have been a problem.
68) Is there a song that describe the relationship between you and this person?
Yellow Submarine.
69) Have you danced with this person?
but it's alllll right now
in fact it's a gas
70) Do you think this person is going to be surprised you wrote this about them?
Considering she forced me into it, not at all.
71) How many siblings does this person have?
There were at least 6577 other larvae in the hive-clutch.
72) If so, brother or sister?
They are as countless legion.
73) Have you ever cried in front of this person?
In my defense, the bullets hurt.
74) When is the next time you will see this person?
As soon as I angle the telescope back in the right direction again.
75) Do you tell this person secrets?
The ones that don't pertain to her!
76) Do you trust this person?
Implicitly. Except when she's angry. Then she gets violent and vengeful and doesn't care who she hurts and the pain it never stops ever.
77) Does this person trust you?
I doubt it, she knows I'm a magnificent bastard.
78) What is this persons middle name?
'Ludwig'.
79) What is this persons full name?
Mara Ludwig Kill-o-Tron Soriano
80) Does this person play sports?
Bear-blasting.
81) If so, which sports?
Goddamnit can't you read.
82) Have you been to this persons house?
Not that she or anyone else is aware of.
83) What is this persons favorite song?
Everything by The Wiggles.
84) Does this person speak another language?
Ebonics.
