This Post! Having To Do With Super Happy Glorious Nippon

I recall that at my school, we had, and probably still have if they have not fallen into murderous anarchy by this week, an anime society, also known as 'a collection of the dregs of society with nowhere else to go who cling together in their mutual conviction of the superiority of Japanese animation over everything that has ever and has yet to exist and the one Japanese kid who comes to laugh at them'.

Don't get me wrong here, they're not inherently horrible people and I do, in fact, rather like them because they happen to be a significant portion of my reader base and alienating them would be bad for the site, but their interest in Japanese animation borders on fanatical devotion to Glorious Nippon and all it stands for. It's rather amusing.

But for some time now, much like Jane Goodall and her chimpanzees, I have sat among them and observed their social habits, taking extensive notes. My research has taught me many things which are undoubtedly of value to the scientific community. No doubt some of my readers would like to pose as one of their number and infiltrate a community themselves! It is merely a matter of following simple tips which I shall here relate.

1. Familiarize yourself with the pantheon of Anime Gods. From my findings, the mighty deity 'Naruto' appears to be at the top of the Anime Society's mythological pantheon. He has a number of devoted followers and significant powers, and his followers appear to have a sort of fanatic zealotry, chanting a sort of tribal chant - 'Yaoi! Yaoi!' whenever his name is mentioned. His powers include wearing a completely unsuitable colour for a ninja. At all costs, avoid implying that the holy anime in which this greatest of gods appears is in any way inferior. Those who blaspheme in this way are put to death.

2. Insert random Japanese words into your speech desu. This serves a dual kawaii purpose. Since 99% of anime societies are dorky white kids and their derivatives (baka gaijin) who will have no idea what the fuck you are konichiwa saying anyway, they will assume you know Japanese. The bona fide Japanese chiji kid who is only there to make fun of the rest will recognize you as friend, and you will be able to devise elaborate plots to mock the 99% who now think you are extremely ocha awesome.

3. At least one hour a week, usually on the traditional worship day of Thursday (mokuyobi) must be set aside for the worship of Glorious Nippon and its animation. All who miss worship are flogged. During the worship, ancient rituals such as 'watching anime', 'watching sub-par anime' and 'super happy kawaii drawing time' take place.

4. Under no circumstances suggest that any form of alternative animation is in any way equal to or better than even the worst of anime. For this, the death penalty is strictly enforced.

5. You do not talk about Anime Club.

6. You do NOT talk about Anime Club.

By following these simple and easy steps, you too can attempt to move away from your damnable fate and be more in communion with the true masters of the world with the luck and relevant genetics to have been born in Glorious Nippon. Godspeed.

-Super Happy Fun Pudding