Pizza is the food of the gods. Seriously. It's what Zeus eats in his holy land of Mongolia. If Zeus is hungry he calls Pizza Hut and orders a large cheese pepperoni and mushroom. Hera sometimes wants ham but Zeus bitchslaps her and screams STFU BITCH.
But really, the reason pizza is so awesome is simply its versatility. Need a quick dinner for whiny kids? Cheese and Pepperoni shuts their little faces in a hurry. Need a tasty snack or a nice dinner? Your toppings of choice are available, unless you enjoy pieces of dead baby on your pizza in which case you will have to make it yourself as most Pizza Huts, at least in my area, do not carry such ingredients. Well, there is that one, but I don't go there because the guy at the counter keeps telling me I have a nice ass.
Also, if you cook a pizza for long enough it becomes hard as a diamond and can be used as a ninja weapon for the ninja on a budget who can't afford those ridiculously expensive shuriken. This is ridiculously useful as it enables you to kill even the most highly trained Italian Pizza Ninja in a matter of seconds. Or something. Why are you reading this anyway? It's a nice day out. Why are you inside? Shoo! Shoo!
...now then, to write an update about a film I've seen recently so I can actually put up something decent today or tomorrow rather than this piece of crap about pizza.
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