You're getting two posts today, you lucky two people who read this. The reason is because I have nothing to do and I had a half finished post lying around itching to be finished.
You may think, from all the posts in this blog I mass deleted by accident that you new readers will never see, that I hate everything in the Entire Fucking World. This is not true at all. There are, in fact, several things that I do like in this world. So you know what to send me for my birthday, I am going to now list them here.
- Chocolate pudding
- My fedora which some insist is actually a trilby so I call it that too
- The Indiana Jones Films
- Phoning Pizza Pizza and telling them to deliver a pizza to another Pizza Pizza.
- Phoning Pizza Pizza and trying to have phone sex with the guy who answers.
- Phoning Pizza Pizza and ordering a hamburger.
- Phoning the operator and asking stupid questions
- Pissing people off
- Being an asshole
- Trying to woo women who have never met me over the internet. Extra points if they're from Tennessee.
- Walking into a room where there is some sort of event going on and yelling "STOP. Hammertime."
- Kicking the shit out of people who dare insult my hat.
If I think of any more I'll post them later. Right now I'm thirsty and am going to go and see if you can get drunk off tea.
~Pudding
Edit: You can't.
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